Friday evening right before bed, Jackie and I were watching television and as I was doing my “MAN THING” surfing channels, I saw a photo of one of my favorite female stars (I am a diehard FRIENDS fan) Jennifer Aniston on a news show. I stopped switching channels long enough to find out what the story was about. I am sure some of you have already heard about this. It seems Jennifer was on the Regis & Kelly show talking about her dressing for photo shoots and she called herself a retard. This use of a word that is demeaning to mentally handicapped people sparked a media blitz that I am sure is still going on today.
Now on the news program I saw, they had 2 people debating about the comment. One was saying how awful it was, the other saying that Jennifer didn’t mean in any way to insult or demean anyone, it was an innocent comment made in a humorous conversation. The proponent of Jennifer went on to talk about all her charitable work, and how much she has given back to the community over her years as a star. The list was impressive.
Let’s think about ourselves now. How many times have we been talking to a customer and used words that could be just as inflammatory or demeaning as the word Jennifer used. Just like her slip up, it could have been done innocently, but that doesn’t matter, the harm was done. Ladies, let’s imagine that you were having the same conversation Jennifer was having with one of your customers and used the same word. What would the customer’s reaction be if they had a son or daughter who was mentally handicapped? I hear you, saying, “I know my customers and I would know that”. OK maybe the handicapped person isn’t one of their children, maybe it is a niece or nephew, and maybe it is a neighbor or friend. The point is YOU DON’T KNOW!
What is the lesson we need to learn? THINK BEFORE YOU TALK AND PICK YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY.
As professionals in sales we use words to make a living. Our mouths have gotten us into and out of more trouble than most people can ever imagine. We all consider ourselves masters of the language and our ability to “word smith” is one of our most valued strengths. However our words, once used, can never be stopped or recalled.
Words are the single most powerful weapon in the world. Wars have been fought, cities and towns destroyed, people have died and more sales and customers lost then can ever be calculated because of words.
The wound our words make may not show up immediately, and they will not heal as quickly as a cut or a bruise. It could take days, weeks or months before what we said comes back around and gets us. We have long forgotten what we said or why we said it, but they have been inside our customer’s head all this time, festering, growing, disturbing them. When the opportunity comes to release all this negative thinking, it could come as lost business.
Going back to Jennifer Aniston, the news anchor said that after she made the statement, Regis and Kelly, along with the audience, laughed WITH her. It wasn’t until an advocate of the mentally handicapped said something that the statement was viewed as negative. This brings up another issue we need to watch out for. Many times we know the person we are talking to very well. We know their tolerances and what is inbounds for a conversation and out of bounds. The question is who else can hear the conversation? How will what you are saying affect other people who may overhear you? These people may not share your contacts sense of humor, or political views. They may not feel the same way about a given group or way of life. They may have a mentally handicapped child!
Finally, think about having your name attached to what you are saying. I will put this idea into play two ways. First, do you really want your contact telling other people, “Listen what Lorin said to me today” (Alright, you know I mean for you to put your name in place of mine). The customer thinks they are giving you credit, but they may be giving you a black eye. Second, put yourself in Jennifer Aniston’s place. Would you want your family reading what you said in the newspaper while eating breakfast?
So what can you do to stop the possibility of becoming a victim of your words? There are a few things that can help. Remove the negative or potentially harmful words from your vocabulary. If you don’t say these things in your usual conversation outside of business, you won’t say them during the course of doing business. Something else you can do is to think about words and phrases you use regularly. Say them out loud and think if they could be misinterpreted in any way by a customer.
I participated in week long Train the Trainer class. One of the exercises we went through was to take a simple sentence and as we said it out loud, we put the emphasis on a different word. The sentence was, “I didn’t say he stole the wallet”. I won’t go over each word but let me go over the first few and give you the interpretations.
Putting the emphasis on “I” – meaning, you didn’t say it but someone else did
Putting the emphasis on “SAY” - meaning, you didn’t say it but you communicated it in another way.
Putting the emphasis on “STOLE” - meaning, you said he borrowed, or took, or in some other way interacted with the wallet.
I think you can get the picture, same words different meanings. Getting back to the phrases and words you use regularly in your sales presentations. What meaning do you want them to have for your customer? You need to practice saying them repeatedly so there is no misunderstanding when you say them.
So now we all know when our parents used to tell us to, “Watch Our Mouths”, they were preparing us for our successful careers in sales.
Oh, and by the way, putting symbols in place of letters in an e mail doesn’t fool anyone anymore!
Hey you #^(*@%$!^& yeah I’m talking to you!
Lorin
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