I am a believer in the use of humor to help make sales. I know that if the customer is smiling it will be a much easier sale.
So to help you each make a few smiles appear on your customer’s faces, I am going to give you some of my favorite sales jokes. Feel free to use them as often as you need to.
1) Unbreakable Combs
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.
Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."
Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."
2) Good Points and Bad Points
"This house," said the real estate salesman "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both.
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
3) The Demo
When a young salesman met his untimely end, he was informed that he had a choice about where he would spend his eternity: Heaven or Hell. He was allowed to visit both places, and then make his decision afterwards.
"I'll see Heaven first," said the salesman, and an angel led through the gates on a private tour. Inside it was very peaceful and serene, and all the people there were playing harps and eating grapes. It looked very nice, but the salesman was not about to make a decision that could very well condemn him to a life of musical produce.
"Can I see Hell now?" he asked. The angel pointed him to the elevator, and he went down to the Basement where he was greeted by one of Satan's loyal followers. For the next half hour, the salesman was led through a tour of what appeared to be the best night clubs he'd ever seen. People were partying loudly, and having a, if you'll pardon the expression, Hell of a time.
When the tour ended, he was sent back up where the angel asked him if he had reached a final decision.
"Yes, I have," he replied. "As great as Heaven looks and all, I have to admit that Hell was more of my kind of place. I've decided to spend my eternity down there."
The salesman was sent to hell, where he was immediately thrown into a cave and was chained to a wall, and he was subjected to various tortures. "When I came down here for the tour," he yelled with anger and pain, "I was shown a whole bunch of bars and parties and other great stuff! What happened?!"
The devil replied, "Oh, that! That was just the Sales Demo."
"I'll see Heaven first," said the salesman, and an angel led through the gates on a private tour. Inside it was very peaceful and serene, and all the people there were playing harps and eating grapes. It looked very nice, but the salesman was not about to make a decision that could very well condemn him to a life of musical produce.
"Can I see Hell now?" he asked. The angel pointed him to the elevator, and he went down to the Basement where he was greeted by one of Satan's loyal followers. For the next half hour, the salesman was led through a tour of what appeared to be the best night clubs he'd ever seen. People were partying loudly, and having a, if you'll pardon the expression, Hell of a time.
When the tour ended, he was sent back up where the angel asked him if he had reached a final decision.
"Yes, I have," he replied. "As great as Heaven looks and all, I have to admit that Hell was more of my kind of place. I've decided to spend my eternity down there."
The salesman was sent to hell, where he was immediately thrown into a cave and was chained to a wall, and he was subjected to various tortures. "When I came down here for the tour," he yelled with anger and pain, "I was shown a whole bunch of bars and parties and other great stuff! What happened?!"
The devil replied, "Oh, that! That was just the Sales Demo."
4) You Might Be A Redneck Salesperson
The name of your dog is Commission.
Your hero was Billy May.
You have the company logo tattooed on your forearm.
You pester your Rabbi for referrals.
You send product coupons with your Christmas cards.
You don't feel right swimming without your cell phone.
Hanging out at the convenience store waiting for lottery winners is considered prospecting.
Jehovah witnesses close their drapes when they spot you.
Your spouse will only introduce friends to you by their first name.
You drop a business card in the church collection plate.
Your car lease has higher payments than your home.
You buy deodorant and indigestion tablets by the caseload.
The Neighborhood Watch Committee has you on its list.
Your local gas station gives you free breath mints with every gas tank fill-up.
Your car always has two extra spare tires.
You purchase pens in bulk, every week.
Your kid's allowance is based on commissions earned.
The church has banned you from receiving their membership address directory.
The Chamber of Commerce will blacklist you if you introduce yourself.
Pigeons have made your car their favorite neighborhood target.
25 years ago, you got two fingers for peace. Now you only get one.
Your hero was Billy May.
You have the company logo tattooed on your forearm.
You pester your Rabbi for referrals.
You send product coupons with your Christmas cards.
You don't feel right swimming without your cell phone.
Hanging out at the convenience store waiting for lottery winners is considered prospecting.
Jehovah witnesses close their drapes when they spot you.
Your spouse will only introduce friends to you by their first name.
You drop a business card in the church collection plate.
Your car lease has higher payments than your home.
You buy deodorant and indigestion tablets by the caseload.
The Neighborhood Watch Committee has you on its list.
Your local gas station gives you free breath mints with every gas tank fill-up.
Your car always has two extra spare tires.
You purchase pens in bulk, every week.
Your kid's allowance is based on commissions earned.
The church has banned you from receiving their membership address directory.
The Chamber of Commerce will blacklist you if you introduce yourself.
Pigeons have made your car their favorite neighborhood target.
25 years ago, you got two fingers for peace. Now you only get one.
ENJOY!
Lorin
No comments:
Post a Comment