It has been 2 weeks since we lost the greatest technology visionary that ever lived, Steve Jobs. Like many of you, his untimely death was a shock that saddened me more than just a celebrity death usually does. I felt like the “toy man” died. Steve Jobs delivered some of the greatest toys ever invented, iPod, iPhone, iPad along with his breakthroughs in computers.
However, with Steve gone it has left the door open for someone to step up and lead the charge in technology advancements. Being the kind of person that hates to see an opportunity pass, I will step up and replace Steve as the new wizard.
I have a few ideas that I started working on over the past few weeks anticipating this chance and I want to share some of these ideas with you here on the Training Buffet, Help Yourself.
Picture me in blue jeans, a black mock turtleneck and sneakers standing on a stage. You have the image in your head? OK here we go.
The first device I want to introduce is by far my most impressive invention. It takes the place of luck, chance and hard work. It’s called The “iWant”. (Applaud, ooo and ahhh, gasp) This will take all the work out of getting what you want. By using the internet you can search for what you want and with a simple click on the touch screen the iWant immediately delivers your want to the front door of your house.
So what do you want, a car, a boat, a house? Do you want to travel, the iWant will deliver any mode of transportation you want to any destination you want. Maybe you want to give your children all the things that you never had, just point and click and everything you want to give them is theirs immediately.
And don’t forget that all this comes without any hard work, without any savings, without doing without. The iWant delivers everything. Oh I almost forgot, the first thing I am going to use the iWant for is to give everyone their own iWant! (More applauds, more screaming, as pandemonium breaks out)
So everyone be looking for your iWant in your mailbox in the next week…
What do you think? I think Apple will definitely seal its place as the world’s greatest company when they beat a path to my door and make the iWant their next product launch.
Along with the iWant I am also working on the iCan. This device assures success of everything anyone attempts. The iCan makes all things possible and successful. Another device I have is the iWon’t, this makes it acceptable for anyone to NOT do things they don’t want to do.
The last new device I want to tell you about is the iShouldhave. This device eliminates guilt. The iShouldhave gives you all the reasons you need to convince people why you didn’t do something and it also gives you the peace of mind knowing that you were right not to do something even when you know you should have. (To date the only thing that the iShouldhave isn’t affective on is calling your mother)
There you have my line-up of products for Apple to move forward on. I think you have to agree, even Steve Jobs would be green with envy seeing these awesome products.
To tell the truth, I know you are going to be shocked, all these devices are jokes. (Awww’s of disappointment come from the crowd) There is nothing that can take the place of hard work, there is nothing that will give you what you want without first putting in the time and sweat to needed to accumulate the funds or credit to purchase it.
I do however have one new product that each of us already have, it is the iPlan! The iPlan is a sheet of paper that you use to write down your plan for success. You use the paper to set goals and keep track of your timelines to achieve these goals. The iPlan is the only sure way to get the things the iWant would give you. The iPlan will give you the success of the iCan, it will remove the guilt the iShouldhave eliminates by giving you nothing that you “should have” done, replacing it with all the things that YOU HAVE DONE!
Steve, you are still our “toy” hero. You will be missed but you knew years ago that there is no iWant. Rest in peace and I hope heaven is ready for the iFly.
Lorin
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