I was unable to post last Thursday and Friday because I was
preparing for the hardest sale I will ever have to make.
No it wasn’t a multi-million dollar sale to a fortune 100
company. No it wasn’t a sale that generated more profit than any other sale I
have ever made. No it wasn’t a sale to a big star or a famous person. The facts
are that I would be selling things at pennies on the dollar, and even at that I
will need to negotiate the price.
The reason I couldn’t write posts for the last few days was
because I was having a GARAGE SALE. I was going to be partaking in one of the
basic American traditions of commerce, changing thousands of dollars of my
treasures into $87.41 cash money!
It started early last month when my neighborhood sent out an
announcement about our annual community garage sale. Each home that
participates pays only $5.00 to our Home Owners Association and the association
does all the advertising, puts out signs, and has a company come by after the
sale to pick up anything that you want to get rid of that didn’t sell. WHAT A
BARGIN!
Last week I started going through my basement, storage shed,
closets, and cabinets gathering all my treasures. I actually found boxes in my
basement that I moved into the house with and haven’t opened them since. (I
have been in this house for 23 years now)
My wife and I put together a grand assortment of “STUFF”
that we could part with and starting at 6:00AM Saturday morning I started
putting it on tables to sell. Now the name “Garage Sale” is a misrepresentation
of what really happens. For instance, nothing was in my garage, it was all out
on my driveway and in my yard. Saturday was a beautiful day if you were a scorpion
or a rattle snake. It was cloudless with a temperature of 89 degrees. Just the
right conditions to put me in a great mood.
The official start of the sale was 8:00 AM but there are
always those people who want the best selection so they get out early. As I was
putting stuff out the first browser showed up at 6:45, cash in hand looking for
deals.
I can’t start to tell you the thrill I had when she asked
about a scanner I had placed on a table. I paid over $150.00 for this scanner
about 18 months ago. I had all the packaging, paperwork, extended warranty, and
software for it. It was like new. She asked me how much I was asking. I pushed
out my chest and in a loud clear voice gave her my best garage sale price, I
told her $15.00.
She walked back over to the scanner and asked me, “Does it
work?” I replied, it works like new, you can see I didn’t use it much” To that
she said, “I’ll give you $7.00 for it”. I could just shake my head in wonder.
It was early, I hadn’t even had my first cup of coffee and already I was in
heated negotiations.
I decided to use a line I have used in the past when offered
a ridiculous price for a product, I said, “Nope, you won’t give me $7.00, you
may offer me $7.00 but I won’t take it”. Expecting at least a chuckle for a
great sales line, all I got was a stare and she said, “I don’t have a lot of
time for games, do you want $7.00 or not?”
I knew it was going to be a long day. I told her no and
countered with $12.50, she came back with $9.00 and I sold it for $10.00. Wow a
lot of work to give something away at less than 10% of its value. I had this
same type conversation at least 50 times during the day Saturday. I started
adding 50% to every price so when people wanted to bargain with me I had plenty
of room to negotiate from.
As 2:00 approached, the official end of the sale, another
group of people showed up. These are the bottom feeders of garage sales. These
people wait until the last minute and make absurdly low offers on what’s left.
In the last 30 minutes I don’t think anyone offered more than 25 cents for
anything. (I actually had a 19 inch flat screen monitor that someone offered me
25 cents for).
As I loaded the last of my treasures that didn’t sell into
the back of my SUV to haul to Goodwill my wife came out of the house to tell me
about how much money we made. I was impressed, we had sold almost everything we
placed out for the sale and had made almost $100.00.
This was a sad day in my sales career. However, I always
look for the positives in what happens. Last Saturday I managed to de-clutter
my basement, garage, shed, and closets. I made a donation to Goodwill. I made
almost $100.00.
Next weekend is Mother’s Day, I am going to use the windfall
to take my wife out to dinner at the best mediocre restaurant I can find with a
dinner for two for $100.00.
Lorin
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