The great Les Brown said, “Other people’s opinions of you do not need to become your reality”.
Today I saw Les speak at a motivational seminar I attended and when he made this statement I knew right away that it was going to be the topic of my blog tonight.
I am vertically challenged and horizontally endowed. (This is a nice way to say short and fat) Over the years I have taken off and put on more pounds than some small towns weigh! Many people who don’t know me and look at me think my weight will make me ineffective in job performance. I once worked with a rep that tried to blame me for the bad day he was having because he said I was slowing him down. Let me tell you a little story. I am from New York and drove a NY Cab for 4 years. I have the shortest legs you can imagine (an inseam of about 25 inches). I have short legs, but they move really really fast and I can keep pace with just about anyone. (Doc Weller runs me into the ground, but come on he is 6’9”) When this rep said this to me I told him I would make him a deal, if I didn’t walk through a door while it was open for him, I would wait outside. For the rest of the day I found myself holding the door open for him because I got there first.
His opinion of me was based on his belief that short overweight people were slow. He painted every short overweight person with the same brush. I PROVED HIM WRONG!
People will always make opinions of other people based on what they have experienced or have been told. The opinions are usually generalities that may be true for some but are absolutely NOT true for all. Furthermore, people will try and influence you based on their opinions of you. Have you ever had someone tell you that you can’t do something? These people will do their best to convince you that you are not good enough, in good enough shape, smart enough, strong enough, educated enough, or from the right part of town to do something. The saddest part of this is the people that tell you these things are usually the people you are closest too, your friends, family or relatives. I call this group the FFR’s.
This group actually thinks they are helping you by placing their own shortcomings onto you. They are protecting you and stopping you from, “Making A Big Mistake”.
My father was an auto mechanic. He worked in gas stations his entire life. While I was growing up he would always tell me that the only opinion that counted was my own. We all have a teacher that made the biggest impression on our lives, mine was Thomas Murray. Mr. Murray (Uncle Tom as we called him) didn’t care what it was you wanted to do, he always told us we COULD do it if we just stopped listening to our distracters and started listening to our cheerleaders.
Unfortunately, there are so many people who have other opinions drilled into them so deeply they start to believe them. They allow other people to influence how far they can go by allowing their opinions to become the roadblocks to their success. I have seen firsthand a young student who has been told by his parents that he is stupid and can’t do math, can’t read very well, can’t write sentences. The facts are this sweet little guy can do all these things but he has been so beaten down that he believes his mother’s opinion and repeats it whenever he is asked to do one of these assignments. I have worked with him to try and overcome this brainwashing and am making headway, but the fact is his mother’s opinion has become his reality.
Don’t let anyone influence you like this. NO ONE! Not your FFR’s, teachers, bosses, customers, prospects, or coaches. NO ONE!
Someone else’s opinion ISN’T your reality unless you allow it to be.
Lorin
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